The Adventures of Puck and Finn
by SergeantGullible12
Summary: Basically Puck always has a creepy or strange plan and Finn is always his minion. Klaine, not Finn/Puck. Series of oneshots. Finished from lack of interest.
1. Awkward Findings in Kurt's Wardrobe

**Title: Awkward Findings In Kurt's Wardrobe**

**Author: SergeantGullible12**

**Rating: M but no actual on page smut happens.**

**Characters/Pairings: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel**

**Word count: 1256**

**Summary: Puck has a plan and Finn is forced to help. Help in finding some rather embarrassing objects. Well, embarrassing for Kurt. Warnings inside fic but there is no on page smut. R&R.**

**Warnings/Spoilers: Sex toys are mentioned but not used, gambling kinda, implicated M/M sex, coarse language. Yeah.**

**Disclaimer- I am by no means associated with Glee, Fox, Ryan Murphy or anything from the Glee world. I make no profit from writing this; it's just for my creepy leisure.**

**A/N- Hai guys. I was struck by the writing bug at 11:00 at night so this is probably bad but oh well, it's awkward and doesn't everybody love putting Finn into awkward situations? No? Just me? Oh well, read on and review if you want, I just wanted to get this out of my system. :D**

**XxXxX**

Finn really shouldn't be doing this. If Kurt found out he would have a long, slow and painful death via that wispy scarf he just knocked down. But Puck had made a bet that Finn couldn't find one sex toy in Kurt's room. Finn really needed those fifty dollars.

He turned back to Puck, who was standing at the closet doorway, with a pleading expression. Puck just chuckled and shook his head.

"You can back out any time," Puck said and laughed at Finn. He had accepted his fate.

Finn took another step sideways, arms reached up and hands bringing down each object to look at and dismiss.

After five more minutes or so Finn came across something and instantly squeaked, dropping it on the floor.

"Puck, come have a look!" Finn called out as he stared at the unusual, rather long object.

"Wow, didn't think Hummel would be able to sustain that much," Puck stated and picked it up. He flicked a switch and it began loudly and rather violently vibrating.

"Oh look, it vibrates!" Puck laughed and Finn looked on in pure horror, "I'll give you twenty more bucks if you can find something else."

Just before Finn could celebrate Puck dumped that on him. Great.

Finn groaned but continued forward, this time Puck followed with the vibrator, flicking the switch on if Finn looked like he was going to chicken out.

This was torture. Pure torture. If it wasn't for the fact that Finn NEEDED a new car desperately then he would've slapped Puck across the face with the vibrator and left.

Then he found something else. He wanted to just forget about it but Puck saw his face change from annoyed to ghostly pale and had reached up for it instead.

Puck pulled out from the shadows two objects. One was a pair of handcuffs with a soft inner side and a key. The other was what seemed to be a mouth gag.

"Well, well, well, it's getting worse and worse on my bank account," Puck said as he reached for a bag out of his pocket, "You've got a hundred dollars now because you found two, good on ya."

Puck dropped the handcuffs and gag in the bag along with the vibrator.

"Okay now my last offer is ten bucks for one more toy," Puck said and Finn sighed, arms going back up to search.

They didn't find anything worthy up on the left side so Finn turned and started searching the right. It only took him thirty seconds to pull down some things that he'd rather not imagine his brother wearing. Women's lingerie.

"Well, isn't that a mental image you'll be scrubbing from your brain for weeks!" Puck laughed and picked up the corset and matching panties, throwing them in the bag with the rest of them, "Guess what I'm going to do with these?"

"Burn them?" Finn asked hopefully as they exited the rather long walk in wardrobe.

"No. We are going to show the other guys our findings and then hide them in your room. We'll have an angry Kurt to watch get all flustered and some blackmail material," Puck explained and Finn gulped at the thought of Kurt's face.

"Can I have my money now?" Finn whimpered and Puck shoved the bills at him, Finn quickly pocketing them and they went to Finn's room.

Puck texted all the guys, ordering them to get their asses down here stat.

'This was not going to end well' Finn thought worriedly.

XxXxX

Once the guys were all sitting in a hemi circle with Finn and Puck sitting on the bed, Puck began to explain.

Sam and Artie were laughing so hard that they leant over to catch their breaths. Mike said quietly that he knew about the gag since Tina had giving the website name to Kurt. Rory sat there looking extremely confused and asked what everything was. And that was when Puck got out the bag.

He pulled out the vibrator first and flicked it on, the group of boys wincing and gasping at the size of it.

"How is that used exactly?" Rory asked, still in the dark. Finn started bashing his head against the wall until Mike pulled him away.

"You shove it up your ass and turn it on," Puck explained crudely and Rory looked like he was going to vomit.

"But-but that would hurt!" Rory said and watched the object vibrate loudly in Puck's hand.

"Well it would if not used correctly. And Rory," Puck pointed the toy at Rory, "That's what gay guys like."

Rory just sat there in silence.

"I think we corrupted him," Artie stated as Sam waved his hand in front of Rory's face.

"Moving on, here is the double deal Finn found," Puck said and pulled out the handcuffs and gag.

"Yup, definitely the same one she has," Mike said quietly and Sam chuckled, high fiving him.

"And finally, the one some of you may not be shocked at. The one that is most definitely Kurt's, guessing by the name sown on the tag. This," And Puck swung out the lingerie.

Everyone sat there and gawked, silence encompassing the group.

After a while Sam finally croaked out "Wow".

"And that is it boys. Now, I just heard the noise of the door opening and it's probably Klaine guessing by the loud noises of making out. Seems like soon enough the blackmail plan will come to fruition!" Puck said and cackled crazily, Finn pulling him down to sit on the bed and watching him with a strange look.

XxXxX

Twenty minutes later a shirtless Kurt sporting a fresh hickey on his hipbone burst into the room with fire blazing in his eyes.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY THINGS?" he yelled and pointed at Finn.

"Puck has them!" Finn yelped and hid behind his friend.

"Why hello there Kurt," Puck said casually and then Kurt spotted the vibrator poking out of the black bag.

"Hand it over," Kurt growled and pointed at the bag.

"That's a lot of pointing, Kurt," Puck laughed.

"Just. Hand. It. Over," Kurt said and stepped closer to Puck, hand outstretched for the bag.

"Only if you-you," Puck looked behind Finn and raised his eyebrows, mouthing 'What do you need?'

"Don't tell Burt or my mom about the playboys and web history you found," Finn squeaked and Kurt simply sighed.

"Ugh fine," he took the bag and turned to leave. But he remembered something and turned back.

"But out of common courtesy I'd like to think that you wouldn't mention these," he motioned to the bag, "Or this," he motioned back to his bedroom, "To my dad. Or I might be forced to let slip about the time I found you have sex on the living room couch."

He then smiled and walked off, slamming his door shut behind him.

Finn blushed as the other guys snorted at the fail blackmail and Puck sighed.

"You could've at least said 'Only if you clean my room until I die'," Puck said.

Before Finn could reply every noise was drowned out by a shout that was undoubtedly Blaine's and a loud buzzing noise.

"Ok show's over, I suggest you we all go get pizza," Puck said and they all quickly ran out of the bedroom, cringing when the sounds coming from Kurt's room got louder.

"But I have chores-" Finn began.

"OH KURRRT LIKE THAT!" they heard Blaine yell and then they were speeding away in their cars in matter of minutes.

**A/N: Uh yeah. So review! Also, this will become a series of one shots, a la The Antics Of Niff, and like that series might be abandoned when I have lack of ideas. Unlike The Antics Of Niff, after this fic I'm going to try all these different AUs. So yay.**


	2. Puck, Burt Will Kill You

Author: SergeantGullible12

Rating: M but no actual smut happens.

Characters/Pairings: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman.

Word count: 678

Summary: Puck has an idea. Finn is the only one that can help him. Help him be a creep. Genderswapped!Klaine, more info inside. R&R.

Warnings/Spoilers: F/F, coarse language

Disclaimer- I am by no means associated with Glee, Fox, Ryan Murphy or anything from the Glee world. I make no profit from writing this; it's just for my leisure.

A/N- Hello reader! I have been wanting to do cisfemale!Klaine for a while now so I wrote out this fic. Here is some help:

Kurt Hummel: Kate Hummel

Blaine Anderson: Blair Anderson

All the other characters are their normal genders, the same as on the show. Set in mid-Season 3. Enjoy!

XxXxX

Puck seemed to be obsessed with his stepsister. He always came over when Finn said that Kate had Blair around and seemed to linger outside Kate's door when walking by.

Maybe Puck's one of those dudes who gets off to lesbians. Finn had tried it three times, two before Kate was his sibling and one when she was. But he's vowed not to watch anymore because it would be creepy.

Puck obviously didn't think so. That is why he is drilling a hole through Finn's bedroom wall.

"So her bed is directly under, correct?" Puck asked as he continued drilling.

"Uh yeah, but you know that she's going to kill you if she finds out. Her nails are sharp, like talons on a bald eagle," Finn said and scratched the air, "Also; I don't think that they've had sex yet. I've barely seen them kiss."

"Because, sweet innocent Finn, they don't want you looking at them while they make out," Puck said simply as he drilled further in.

"But you think they'd be fine with you? Yeah, sure," Finn sighed, "Burt will kill you if he finds out. He'll kill you with his shotgun."

"I'm not scared of him," Puck laughed, "Remember when I told you about the time I killed an alligator with my bare hands?"

Finn nodded and wondered about how an alligator got to Lima and into Puck's bedroom. It probably used a jeep.

"There, success! And now we wait," Puck said happily and slumped down onto a bean bag, grabbing an Xbox controller.

XxXxX

Twenty minutes later Puck muted the game and clamped his hand over Finn's mouth, shushing him.

Puck's ears pricked up and then he heard the noise of feet going up the stairs. Heels and boots. Kate and Blair.

Puck grinned and nodded his head to the hole. They sat in their bean bags and then Kate gingerly opened the door.

"Hey Finn, Puck. Blair has came down from Westerville so I'm going to, uh, spend some time with Blair. In my room. So knock before you enter. Thanks," Kate awkwardly said and Finn spotted Blair's head poking out from behind his sister. Blair was short. Rachel short. But she was cute and really cool with the guys. She also tended to wear super short skirts, a la Rachel, so yeah, bonus for Kate.

Finn nodded and then Kate left, closing the door behind him and shutting her door.

Puck jumped up and crept over to the hole in the wall. He closed in and pressed his eye to it, grinning.

"What? What is it?" Finn asked, starting to feel protective over Kate.

"Blair's got her hands under Kate's shirt!" Puck whispered happily, "It's being taken to the bed!"

Finn's mouth turned into a small 'o'. Suddenly he felt protective of Kate. He wasn't going to let this happen.

"KATE, BLAIR, PUCK'S PERVING ON YOU GUYS! STOP!" Finn yelled and then Kate and Blair were at the door, looking furious.

"PUCK YOU FUCKING JERKASS!" Blair yelled and slapped him across the face.

"DICKHEAD!" Kate screamed and slapped him again.

"Ow, ow!" Puck winced, "Ladies, we can work this out."

"We don't have to; it's obvious what was happening!" Kate continued to yell, "You were looking at me and Blair when we were going to have sex!"

"WHAT?"

They all turned around to see Burt standing with a rather purple face.

"Puck. Get. Out," Burt growled and Puck did just that, bolting away.

"Finn, cover that hole with duct tape until I fill it in," Burt instructed next and Finn quickly did so.

"Blair, Kate, be safe and kick Puck in the balls the next time you see him," Burt said and Blair breathed a sigh of relief.

"'Kay dad," Kate said and Burt went downstairs, "Do you wanna watch a movie with us, Finn? Blair brought over her Harry Potter's."

"Sure!" Finn said and bounded downstairs with them.

Then they all froze when they saw Burt walking to his car with his shotgun.

"I'm going to warn Puck," Finn said with wide eyes.

**A/N- Finn that ain't gonna help Puck. Review and prompt in the box below. Ciao! **


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